| “ | "We are gathered today to celebrate the lives of 4 fallen friends." | ” |
—TraumaticWheel begins the Red Funeral
| ||
The Red Funeral was a bloody burial ceremony that took place in Majora on Halfast during the 12th Era.
As residents gathered to remember Bakira, Jacob, HalfastMC, and a deceased panda, the funeral was ambushed by Alec and Jrod, leading to the deaths of Henry and Tox and giving the event its name.
The Red Funeral was credited with reuniting Eternal Chaos.
History[]
| Tox: In the end, Bakira chose to go out as he came in, with a bang NoLight was torn to shreds by CT_2361 somehow using [Glamdring] Tox: Welp TraumaticWheel: .... Tox: Make that 5 graves Jacob: What the hell! TraumaticWheel: Umm TraumaticWheel: Wtf? HyperSilence: got robbed for his sneakers i think |
||
—The Red Funeral turns bloody
| ||
Red Funeral
On 12E:132, Bakira decided his time on Halfast had come to an end and decided to blow up his base and then commit suicide in the loving embrace of his charged creeper scarecrow. One his final requests was that TraumaticWheel hold a funeral for him. 12E:171|40 days later, she did just that, inviting residents of Majora to gather in his memory.
There was an initial debate on where to hold the ceremony. TraumaticWheel favored The Pelican, where Sleekit where Sleekit had previously been buried after falling off a tall pillar of his own making, but its owner Henry objected to his property being used as a graveyard. Alec suggested it be held at Bakira's Veil residence and HyperSilence offered to teleport attendees there, but after Tox reminded them it was just a ruined crater, it was agreed that the funeral rites would be rather appropriately held at Pelican Memorial Cemetery adjacent to The Pelican.
The starting time was pushed back to accommodate Tox, who was coming in from off-world, as well as Jinx and Alec, who were on a "trek" together. Jacob was first to arrive, followed by Tox in his black funeral suit. Jinx finally arrived but Alec said his journey was taking longer than expected, so Tox was joined by HyperSilence as the pair engaged in antics with Tox's original boat from the Starter Kit while they waited. Sharkberries, temporarily granted special powers to renovate Top Survivor Hall, arrived at the Pelican via teleportation. Jinx pleaded for the ceremony to start as she needed to leave soon. Tox foreshadowed the carnage to come when he mentioned that Jrod crashed the last funeral he'd attended.
Alec murders Henry for his special boots
TraumaticWheel began the funeral just as darkness fell, but was immediately attacked by several zombies. HyperSilence invoked his authority as the all-powerful Heirarch of Halfast to force the sun to rise, allowing her to focus on the task at hand. Bakira was the first of the deceased to be remembered, with Jinx providing a funny tribute in which she admitted to having no idea who he was or how he died and that she'd only attended for the "free booze."
Tox began a more personal eulogy recounting Bakira's life and some little known facts about him, but was interrupted by Alec's sudden arrival and surprise ambush of Henry, who had fallen asleep on his horse in the Pelican stables. After popping his totem, Alec dealt the death blow with his netherite blade Glamdring. Alec had hoped to loot Henry's rare Boots of the Wind Sage, but after being unable to quickly find them and expecting swift retaliation from the gathered onlookers, he teleported away over the nearest hill with an ender pearl.
The ceremony awkwardly continued with Jacob being laid to rest. Alec soon returned and began punching those in attendance to test who was vulnerable to damage, finding that only Tox was allowing himself to be fought. Then Alec moved back to the stables, again searching for Henry's boots to no avail. TraumaticWheel locked the stable gates behind him so he used his Spawn Compass to teleport to Skyloft Palace to avoid a counterattack.
Tox and Sharkberries watch the HalfastMC robot be buried
Once more the funeral resumed, with TraumaticWheel physically burying Henry and digging a grave for the HalfastMC robot. The remains of a panda once belonging to Absurd were placed in a ceremonial urn, having died on a journey back to civilization after TW and Alec had kidnapped it from Bamboozle. As HalfastMC was covered in dirt and the gathered mourners shared memories of the machine, two invisible marauders silently crested the hill and attacked.
Alec had secretly led his old ally Jrod from Skyloft Palace to the graveyard so that they could crash the funeral. Jrod tried attacking TW and Sharkberries as well as digging up Henry to no avail. Alec instead focused on Tox as he was the only viable target and delivered the death blow with Glamdring, though Jrod claimed the kill was rightfully his because he believed he landed the majority of the blows against Tox. Alec then began wearing Tox's severed head as a mask, while Jinx piloted his Starter Kit boat out of Henry's claim so that Alec could steal it. Both the head and boat would eventually be mounted as war trophies in a shrine at the Maieutic Mandate.
After the killers departed, the funeral came to a close and the shellshocked attendees returned home, leaving TraumaticWheel to somberly bury Tox alone. Later, TW confronted Jinx after learning she was the one who had taken Henry's boots. Caught off guard, Jinx was surprised and amused she'd been caught, and the master thief turned the Stolen Sneakers over to TraumaticWheel.
Alec wears Tox's head after killing him
Speculation raged in the aftermath of the chaos, giving rise to conspiracy theories that claimed Alec and Jinx planned the theft of Henry's boots together and that Tox had summoned Jrod to attack the funeral in order to make his job as historian more interesting.
The Red Funeral was credited with bringing Eternal Chaos back together, as it marked the first time Alec and Jrod had directly cooperated in the 12th Era and led Gabault and KushBandit to make a return to Majora. In the weeks that followed, Eternal Chaos reestablished their dominance and resumed the Ishtari Conflict before eventually turning against each other during their civil war.
Jinx gave the event its name; "red" referred to the blood spilled during the ceremony.
Attendees[]
| "Another success funeral TraumaticWheel." | ||
—Sharkberries sarcastically applauds the Red Funeral
| ||
Gallery[]
Behind the Scenes[]
The following is out-of-universe information about the real world Dragonhollow.
| "And thus ends the Red Funeral?" | ||
—Jinx names the Red Funeral
| ||
The Red Funeral was named by Jinx as a reference to the Red Wedding, a wedding feast massacre in the Game of Thrones television show and A Song of Ice and Fire, the series of novels in which the show was based.